Jasmine Thai food cart, New Haven

I am truly stuffed, sated, content. I just experienced an excellent meal – from a food cart. Yeah, I know, right? In this day of poor quality customer service, I was pleasantly surprised by Thai Jasmine over by the Yale Medial School. After a two-hour wait to see someone about my foot bump (yes, Virginia, it IS a tumor), I decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and treat myself to a walk to the food carts in front of the hospital. A colleague introduced me to their cart last fall when it was parked near the courthouse, so my choice was made as soon as I saw the cart.

While the people in front of me were treated to a little extra this and a little extra that, I asked them the obvious question: What’s good? In the end, I had pad thai noodles, ginger tofu and veggies, and some tempura veggies. (Was that sweet potato?!) I ate it all, every last bit of it, with complete abandon, ignoring the unanswered email in front of me. I truly wanted to lick the styrofoam container in which it was presented.

If you ever find yourself near Yale-New Haven Hospital, make your way to the well-known food court on Cedar Street. I’m glad I did. It made an icky few hours totally worth the wait.

Note: The other good news is that the tumor is benign, so no worries.

Please answer the question I asked.

When I ask a question via email, I am as specific as possible. It only makes sense to be specific so you do not waste the reader’s time. By being specific, you cut through the small talk, get to the point, and we can all go back to our regularly scheduled programming. Why is it, then, that most of the responses to my very specific emails give me an answer to a question I am not asking?

For example, by asking if a company hires remote writers after reading a post for on-site writers, I obviously want to know if the same job can be done off-site. I really do not appreciate someone from H.R. responding with a link to the job post that originally begat the emailed question.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually reads their email at work or just scrolls through for the funny stories and pictures from their friend’s weekend or last vacation. I want to be paid for NOT reading my email, too.

I’m just sayin’…

Join me in the courtroom tomorrow

I have been fascinated with the fact that reporters are allowed to Tweet from inside the courtroom of the Petit case. Readers following #hayes (and other hash tags) have been privy to all of the testimony in 140 characters or less. I imagine it is much easier to experience this case from OUTside the courtroom and my heart goes out to the Petit family and friends.

Join me on Twitter tomorrow or via one of the many Twitter apps available.
@writerobrien

Are family vacations a hassle?

Jackie Pettus’ post on Working Mother Magazine’s Momblog brings home the importance of family vacations. They may be a hassle for the planner, usually Mom, but you are making memories for your children that come in handy during tough times in their lives.

The burning book discussion

Did you hear about the Florida pastor who plans on burning the Koran on September 11th? In response, Dave Ross has a brilliant idea to counteract this chucklehead’s actions. Why doesn’t everyone BUY a new copy of the Koran? After all, he is burning one book, but everyone will buy thousands as a result.

Great idea.

A literary gold mine is discovered

In Yiddish Author’s Papers, Potential Gold

 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/18/books/18grade.html

I thought this was so interesting. This Yiddish author and lecturer, of whom I have never heard, died over 30 years ago. His name was Chaim Grade (gruh-DAY), and his wife refused to let anyone publish any of his work. In fact, she would not let anyone even examine his notes and papers! Grade was a learned person who survived the Holocaust and then wrote and lectured about it.

Now that Mrs. Grade has died, it’s open season. Since she died without a will and with no survivors, the Bronx public administrator is in charge of overseeing the estate. He has asked four organizations to determine the value of the writings as well as the manner in which they should be disposed. Here is a piece of the article naming the four:

The four are the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research in Manhattan; the New York Public Library; the National Yiddish Book Center in Amherst, Mass.; and Harvard University, through its Yiddish scholar, Ruth R. Wisse. Mrs. Grade blocked access to Grade’s papers by some of these very institutions, so there is a certain paradox in the idea that they might gain control of his work — and possibly unearth a never-published manuscript.

My writing students over the years have learned I have this first manuscript that sits in a drawer and will never be published. I keep it to remind me of how much I’ve learned about writing and publishing, and of how far I’ve come, quite frankly. I would hope that my work, though not scholarly by any means, will be read and enjoyed by others with the exception of this one crummy manuscript. All of my poetry, my journals, whatever I am working on at the time – all of it – should be read, examined and published if there is a market and someone may enjoy it. I’m not saying my work is anywhere in the range of Mr. Grade’s, but my point is that it was written to be read by people.

I just have to wonder what Mrs. Grade’s motivation was. Her husband had previously published, so she knew he wanted his work to be read. That’s where my ideas for possible motives ends. I cannot think of one reason why she would not open his work to scholars who might bring him a larger audience and, therefore, educate the world. If anyone has any thoughts on this, I would love to hear them.

Kurt Hummel’s “A House is Not a Home”

Quite frankly, sometimes words escape me other than to say this is beautiful.

What kids can do today

I had to laugh this morning. My friend and I were discussing what chores we did when we were kids and how little our kids expect to do. It all started when we began talking about how the men of a certain generation are proud, or disinterested enough, to be waited on by their wives. Yes, men have changed due to their womens’ revolt, but there are still holdouts.

My sons will be of the new generation of men who take care of their houses, children and lives right alongside their wives or significant others, but it’s taking a lot of effort to get them there. My sons are learning to cook, the right way to clean, and all of that, but they really don’t do what we did as kids, especially as “girl” kids. We knew how to cook a few meals, wash clothes and dust an entire house, for example. And then there were those things no one does anymore such as hanging out the laundry on a nice day. Frankly, it never seemed worth it to me until I crawled into bed that night with fresh sheets that smelled of the sun. Regardless, I don’t do that now. A dryer sheet that smells like the sun is good enough for me. Don’t get me wrong. My brothers and I did not have a ton of chores to do, but we definitely had to contribute to the household upkeep, if only to take care of our own rooms.

The part of the discussion that caused us both to cackle was when she mentioned that our mothers left us home alone at a much younger age than today. Well, maybe not that much younger, but it sure seems that way when we look back. What were they thinking?! I was lucky that my mom was home with us until I was about 12. Add to that the neighbor next store who would always keep an eye on us as we played with her children and the multitude of neighborhood kids, and you have safe kids while Mom finished up her day at work.

It’s not that way today, but we do our best with what we have. I am home with my kids and so is my friend. I often find myself at my computer finishing up an article while they hang out in front of the TV or play outside where I can see them. There are many of us who either work an off schedule so that a parent will always be with the children, work from home around our family’s schedules, like me, and others who rely on daycare. It’s all good. It will create self-sufficient people who, hopefully, will know how to take care of themselves one day.

What did you do around the house when you were a child? At what age? I would love to know your current age or the timeframe. I was a child of the late 60’s – early 70’s while my friend is a few years younger. Chime in and let us know the extent of your household chores. 

Looking into my car…

Why do drivers look at me while they are driving? On the rare occasion I look at a driver as they go by me (while I am also driving), I find them looking back at me. Why is this? I’m just curious because when I drive, my eyes are on the road, the stop sign, the pedestrians, etc., not on the other drivers. Should I be looking at who else is driving out there? Why would I? If I do see someone I know, I usually see them after they pass me and then can’t get to my horn quickly enough to beep in time for them to hear it anyway. Then if beep, they usually don’t know who is beeping at them!

This is just one of the many things I ponder while going through the boring typo-edit stage of writing a novel, but seriously. I really want to know.

Happy writing … or whatever you are doing today.

This time it’s a non-paying Mommy magazine!

It doesn’t matter how long I work as a writer, and notice the word “work,” I will never understand how people can sleep with themselves at night when they don’t pay their writers. They produce publications with advertisers who pay and readers who subscribe for a fee, yet it is okay for them to accept words for these publications without paying the people who are providing their product.

This latest magazine was a parenting magazine specifically geared toward women who are moms and write about their mommy experiences. What?! The best part is that they charge for submissions! My first problem is with, of course, the publication. My second issue is with the writer. Do these women value their work so much that they willingly give it away for the joy of seeing their name in print along with one complimentary copy of the issue in which their work appears?

There are better ways of getting clips for your clip file, people. You can write for your local newspaper where your name will become known much faster, or write for an organization you believe in that does good things like feed the hungry or house the homeless. Working for free so that a magazine can reap the rewards of your labor is simply beyond me. It is reminiscent of the old sweatshops where the workers were paid peanuts while the garment factories profited. It did not matter how many hours the women worked or how many of them died due to illness and lack of food due to low wages. The factories could always find willing participants because they were desperate.

Are we that desperate? I most certainly am not. I value my work and therefore expect to be paid for the time it takes me to create the product that is going to make money for a magazine. Yes, sometimes when money is tight I work for a little less, but I never work for free. I am a writer by trade and anyone who gives away his or her articles is cheapening my trade, especially if that person is a mommy who writes.

I will not tell you which publication spurred this tirade, just rest assured they will not benefit from my experience until they do the right thing and pay their writers for the product that fills their pages. It would surely be no great loss for them if they knew this, but it is certainly my gain. There is one less magazine in the world profiting from this writer’s time and talent. If nothing else, it makes me feel better as I cash my checks from reputable publishers with integrity.